Friday, 30 May 2008

• couldnt stand it anymore...A fake big pig!

  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  i wish i'd be able to say it straight out that "You All are not what I take as true friends"...I dont wish to break ppl heart but....thats just exactly how i really feel towards some bunch of ppl. I dont wanna be fake, I dont wanna be someone Im not, I dont want ppl to have wrong feelings of who I really am. I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF, I want to be the real me, the Jackie, or I should say for ONCE, the Jacqueline who ppl I love really know.

  I've always thought that the more friends I have, the more better life would be and every friends are the same...but OBVIOUSLY thats a huge HUGE mistake...a STUPID-STINKY-BOO-CRAP-WAY of thinking!! It takes time to consider a person your friend...something that I learnt from my Roommate here in Tokyo, a simple thing as "having a common interest" doesnt simply mean "we're best friends now"...it might feel good at the very beginning, having same topic to chat, imagining crazy thoughts and etc. But for me, clear enough to know WHO MY BEST FRDS ARE and, as usual, the feeling of that kinda friendship changes as time goes by, Im tired of it and  the importance of what it should be starts fading away in me and ended up with one conclusion: IF thats what I take as good friends (just by common interest), then I dont need a boyfriend BECAUSE instead of the good friends and boyfriend, all I want now are MY VERY BEST LOVERS, the friends I LOVE deep inside my heart. 

  **a bit too over, is it? but...that's how i feel right now at this moment....so WHATEVER XD

  In other words, "good friends" equals "friends" ; "Lovers" equals "True Friends"
  so, "good friends" DOES NOT EQUAL TO "True Friends" (FULL STOP)

  I feel bad...coz I've gave wrong impression to ppl who take it seriously. My -ive personality of not knowing to reject, to say "NO" IS the problem...forcing myself to say the world "YES" when it SHOULD HAVE BEEN "NO!"...what's my problem?!?! making myself even more FAKE than ever leading to the fact of whats happening now...STUPID-PIG-BUMB, ME! Jacqueline Ho Jieh Yee!

  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  • 6:32 PM
  • 80 Views
  • 6 eProps
  • 7 Comments